Can Marriage Counseling Help Save Your Marriage?

When you are considering a divorce from a spouse, schedule an appointment with a marriage counselor before hiring an attorney. While getting a divorce is often an easy thing to do, it can have devastating ramifications for your children and your future. In many situations, a marriage is savable by learning better ways to communicate. The reality is that marriage is hard work that requires making adjustments to a relationship many times over the years, and the problems that you have in one marriage can transfer to another relationship.

What Is Marriage Counseling?

Marriage CounselingWhen you are considering marriage counseling, you need to find an expert who offers therapy for couples or relationship counseling. This type of counseling is offered by psychiatrists and therapists. The individual who you select must have extensive education and state licensing to offer therapy to a couple. You should meet with a counselor for an interview session before making a long-term commitment. During this interview, make sure to discuss how the marriage counselor manages sessions along with the types of therapy they provide. You and your spouse should feel comfortable discussing intimate details of a marriage with the counselor.

How Long Does Marriage Counseling Last?

A couple must commit to multiple marriage counseling sessions, and your therapist may want to meet with each of you alone in addition to both spouses at one time. One counseling session is not enough to resolve issues, so you should prepare to see the therapist 12 to 24 times. You might meet with a counselor once per week, or the counselor may prefer having sessions twice a week. During this time, you can continue to live with a spouse, or in some cases, couples want to live separately while working through their problems.

Types of Problems Discussed During Marriage Therapy

If you have never visited a marriage counselor before, then you might feel anxious about talking to someone about your personal problems. Counselors understand that you are stressed about talking to them, but they are ready to use particular forms of therapy that are designed to improve communication. First, you need to help the counselor understand why you are in therapy, and here are the reasons chosen by most couples:

Marriage Therapy

  • Infidelity or cheating
  • Anger or violence
  • Financial difficulties
  • Substance abuse
  • Blending families
  • Differences in raising children
  • Sexual problems
  • Difficulties with communication

Choosing a counselor who is located in a nearby area can make traveling to sessions easier, but if you are worried about confidentially, then select a therapist who lives farther away. It is important to remember that therapists do not discuss your sessions with anyone. Make sure to arrive for your counseling sessions 15 minutes early to discuss payment arrangements with the office staff.

What Can You Expect In a Marriage Counseling Session?

CounselingDuring the first counseling session, a counselor may ask questions about your relationship to determine why you are considering a divorce. When a couple is filing for a divorce, there are usually bad feelings, and it is common for each spouse to have intense emotions. You may begin to cry or yell at a spouse who has a drinking problem or who has had an affair. While the process of marriage counseling is difficult, it can lead to saving a marriage rather than getting a divorce.

Anthony is an avid blogger from Tulsa, Oklahoma who is passionate about encouraging healthy family values for all communities while working with the Gorospe & Smith Tulsa Divorce Law Firm in his own community.

Try Eating with Mindfulness to Lose Weight

Eating with mindfulness involves focusing your attention fully on what you are doing and nothing else, without judging. For this reason, it is preferable to turn off the TV and other distractions and focus solely on food. mindful-eating

Thoughts and emotions
While you are eating, notice any emotion or thought that may arise in your mind and then let it go and re-focus your attention on the food. If it arises again, for example, any thoughts of guilt for having fattened, know it is there and then let it go. By observing this way, your emotional state can realize many things like the effect food produces on emotions that are associated with it, etc. However, when you practice mindfulness, your goal is not to judge, but just be aware of what is happening. Therefore, if thoughts, emotions or painful memories arise, do not try to suppress them, accept that they are there but do not get caught by them, just focus your attention on them without making any value judgments such as the impartial investigator notes of an event and then focus your attention on the next bite.

Taste food
Go quietly, without haste, savoring every bite, being aware of its texture, temperature, taste, chewing slowly, as if every bite gave you an unknown, exotic and strange food that totally called your attention.

Take your time
Try to take at least 20 minutes to eat because that will give time for satiety signals from reaching your brain. If you eat too fast, satiety signals can reach your brain when you have already eaten more than necessary.

Between meals
You also use mindfulness whenever you feel the desire to eat. Are you really hungry or perhaps it is anxiety, boredom, sadness or other negative emotion you are trying to do away with eating? Imagine, for example, that you realize you are not hungry, but you are feeling anxiety due to a problem that worries you. In that case, you can use mindfulness and also interact differently with your anxiety or use other techniques and strategies to cope with anxiety rather than running to the fridge.

Eating at Social Gatherings

When you eat at a social gathering, do it with mindfulness too and be aware of what is happening within you, what your body really needs and taste what you eat rather than swallowing.

When you have practiced for a while this new way of eating, it will end up becoming a habit and help you maintain desired weight over time much more easily and more naturally without having to continually weighing yourself or controlling everything you eat. I have found another product for quick weight loss by John Barban Does Venus Factor Scam or Not?

Childcare During Divorce

DivorceWe often hear about the people who live in bad marriages because they do not want for their children to go through divorce, but no matter how harsh the reality of separation may be, in some cases it is a better option. In fact, the divorce is so common that 50 percent of U.S. kids witness it, and most of them manage to cope with it just fine, but some of them do not. The risk factors for drug abuse, academic failure, getting divorced themselves and emotional stress are significantly higher. The good news is that when the parents are willing to do their best to prevent negative outcomes, children can go through their divorce less painfully.

Come to Terms with the Other Parent
First thing you should do is to discuss about your children with the other parent and set their emotional health as your mutual priority. Although you are not married anymore, you are still connected as child-raising partners and you have joined interests reflected in your children’s well being. Keep re-affirming your former partner and yourself that maturity should be the basis of your interactions. divorce-familySource

Separate the Children from the Drama
Even if the parents are trying to get along, the divorce is still synonymous for drama, and you should keep your children as far away from it as possible. Focus on your mutual relationship, have fun together and encourage them to have fun in their new “other home”. Do not allow for your children to see you fight, and whatever you do, do not use them as messengers.

Try Alternatives to Traditional Litigation
The traditional litigation system can last for a very long time, and be extremely stressful for both parents and their children, especially if we are talking about contested divorce (solving issues at a trial) or at-fault divorce (proving that one party committed an act inappropriate for a marriage). Grounds for divorce and other regulations vary from state to state, but you can always opt for a safer and quicker alternative, such as online filling for divorce in Oregon or mediation in some other state.

Communicate with Your Children
No matter how obvious this might be, parents can forget or avoid talking about the divorce with their children, but that is not a good thing. Children must know that they are not to blame for the separation, that their parents still love them equally and that they are not the one getting a divorce – meaning they still have a family of both parents.guess-attic

Emphasize the Reality of the Situation
It is highly important for you and your ex to sit with your children together when giving them the news about the divorce, and to explain to them that this is a decision you have reached mutually, that it is no one’s fault and that you will not reconsider your choice. No matter how harsh this may sound, it will help them grasp the reality of the divorce, move on to the next stage of grief and later to emotional healing.

Ask Therapist’s Help
Soliciting for the help of a therapist may seem as exaggeration, especially if you think your children are coping with divorce rather well, but, the truth is that a conversation with an unbiased party can always help. And when that person is a professional, you know for sure that your children will get all the necessary guidelines about dealing with the changes and negative emotions.

Divorce is always a difficult period for both children and parents. Do your best not to make it even more difficult by prolonging it and fighting.

What Everyone Needs To Know About Meditation Gongs

Meditation gongs are tools used by early Chinese and have been a part of Chinese culture. These gongs are usually exotic and people understand not so much for most of us in Western culture. But for students of Gong Fu Vancouver, they know very well the benefits of this item. Meditation gongs have an interesting history and are quite a unique type of instrument.Meditation Gongs

To understand more about meditation gongs, here are more about the types of gong.

Types of Meditation Gongs

Suspended Gong – this is what people would normally recognize when they hear the word gong. This consists of a round piece of metal suspended between two poles.

Singing Bowls – these are the less common and special type of gong. They are bowl-shaped and produce sound by running a special mallet around the rim or by simply being stroked.

However, in terms of materials used to create them, both types of gongs are usually made of copper, bronze, and other common metals

History of Gongs
These instruments have been used by ancient Tibet, China, Japan, Nepal and other Asian regions settlers going way back 2000 BC. Their religious use dates back to pre-Buddhist Shamanism, which then gradually adapted by modern Buddhism for meditative practice. Today, however, almost everyone who knows meditation and the different practices now use these gongs. Also, they are present in most cultural and spiritual practices.

The use of meditation Gongs
Finally, we come to the use of gongs, which by the way are many. It is used for sound healing practices, where the sound and vibrations of the gong are thought to help correct the imbalances in the body and mind. And of course, both groups and individuals for mediation practice can use them. Some use them to ritually mark the start and end of their meditation session. This has also been used in yoga to induce feelings of well-being and relaxation while practicing it.

Some people associate these gongs as a sign of meditation and it encourages them to do a daily practice with their meditation. Furthermore, Gong Fu Vancouver gyms and session halls should have at least one meditation gong. As you probably know, meditation is a crucial part of Tai Chi and Kung Fu arts. These help people connect with their body and mind. Meditation is an integral part of any tai chi class and this is why having these gongs are important. It may also be a sign that the Gong Fu Vancouver session hall you are attending is culturally inclined and official.